I actually don't know where to start. My doctor recently asked me if I've already said goodbye to you and suggested to write a letter or something... So I guess, I'm going to do that now.

Dear brother,

This is going to be the sixth Christmas without you and probably the second Christmas without seeing many people in general. I sometimes try to convince myself that you're better off wherever you are because you don't have to deal with all the pandemic-related stuff. But that's not true. I'd rather have several more years of pandemic than you being dead.

I know that I hadn't been the best sister and there had been a lot of situations in which I had been very unfair to you. There even was a time I had wished I didn't have a brother. But since we both had become more mature, we could help and support each other much better. We share so many great memories and I don't want to miss any of them. As time flies by and life goes on, the fear that this memory will fade continously grows. And yet I know that I have to let you go!

Thank you for every game we had played, for every audiobook we had listened to, for every book we had shared each other to read, for every song we had repetively listened to, for every videogame we had played, for every train ride back from school, for all the sweets we had shared, for all the lies we had told our parents, for all the weird conversations we had had, for all the hugs we had given each other, for every meal we had cooked, and even for all the fights we had had!

I hope that wherever you are now you know how much you're missed and loved!

Sincerely,

Your sister