I always thought, social media's influence was all about advertising products and showing others how great someone looks in underwear. The posts about "the perfect bodies" were not affecting me in a way that really changed how I saw myself.

That is why I did not think, that I had any problems regarding social media.

My whole life, I struggled with self-confidence and whenever a teacher asked me, why I was so silent in their class, I did not have an answer. The truth is, I always underestimated myself and I still do. In my head, there are thoughts that tell me "You should give up" or "Maybe others will be bothered when I say this or that".

But what does social media have to do with all this?

Social media consists of a lot of unhappy and self-conscious people who write hate comments under every post they see. I do not have any public pages but last month I realized the influence that hate comments have on my mindset / way of thinking.

E.g. someone said that the artist I like most, is not talented. I become defensive but I don't say anything back at them because I know they are not worth replying. That's good, right? Well, keep in mind that I always overthink and judge myself without any judgment from others.

I started to think about some comments and opinions I saw and asked myself, how many people I see in real life regularly, think the same thing about me or my friends? I know that most people would never say something like this in person.

This fear about judgement that will never come, is something I discovered through social media hate.

It's something that helped me realize that we should take our energy and time to focus on our own lives and not on trolls that find need to bring others down to feel better. Also, I want to show myself that there are miles between feedback/ discussions and judgment/hate.

Building confidence is something that will take time, maybe even my whole life. In 2022, I want to change some mindsets in certain situations and step out of my comfort zone more and more.

This is also the reason I signed up for Journaly. Interacting with others should not be something I fear, but something I can learn from.

I believe, that reflecting thoughts on this topic and other things that I am interested in, will help me grow and overcome this fear of judgment that will not come!

ellewashere

My fear of judgement that will not come