This is like a continuation of the 30DRYC Day 1.1 since I was kind of stumped actually. I originally intended to only do the 30DRYC challenge in Japanese, which is my target language, but this also seems doable in Bicolano.

Bicolano is the fourth largest ethnolinguistic group in the Philippines. It's also my third language learned unknowingly. I said this in my previous post, but it all comes down to how my parents didn't openly acknowledge the existence of this language. It's just a part of everyday communication. It wasn't like at school where there's a clear delineation of English and Filipino. My family didn't sit down and teach me "Bicolano grammar and vocabulary". No, I grew up thinking that I'm bilingual while my parents are trilingual. We'd go to the province once every year and I'll notice that I didn't understand anyone. That's understandable, I thought, since my parents grew up there and I didn't. It also helped that my dad was a boisterous person and I got plenty of chances to hear Bicolano outside our household.

It was only during high school that I noticed I was different from other students. I'd talk to my friends and they didn't understand me. Even now, I don't know which one is Filipino: simot or tibis? I grew up thinking these two were interchangeable but Filipino was a language while Bicolano was a dialect. That's a common misconception since both are languages. This is how I also learned that my mother, who had Bicolano ancestry but grew up in the city, was a learner while my dad, who actually lived there for a long time, was a native. Hearing them speak was how I distinguished my mom's apparent Filipino-Bicolano accent. Hearing them converse was how I realize I can only understand and not speak Bicolano.

I can't even speak my native language yet here I am, aspiring to learn foreign languages. Why? Is my sense of patriotism absent?

No, there is no problem with learning languages. It's a way of speaking directly to someone's heart and mind. Language learning is for everyone. There's nothing wrong with being an enthusiast. Diversity is good. However, should I continue learning foreign languages without getting to learn my roots? No. I was ignorant before since I wasn't even aware and I took it for granted. Now that I know better, of course I'll want to speak it too. I did feel a bit guilty about trying to learn foreign languages while I haven't even mastered my own native language. But then I realize, people learn different languages for different reasons and that's ok, expected even.

Well, that's enough journaling and identity crisis for today. I'd post another multilingual dilemma some other day.

Bye~