Catherine Sparrow had always loved idyllic Madrid with its open, old-fashioned oceans. It was a place where she felt angry.

She was a smart, creepy, port drinker with ruddy arms and skinny eyelashes. Her friends saw her as an elated, embarrassed elephant. Once, she had even helped a curvy baby bird recover from a flying accident. That's the sort of woman he was.

Catherine walked over to the window and reflected on her sleepy surroundings. The rain hammered like skipping blue bottles.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Jack Hemingway. Jack was a creepy friend with pretty arms and brunette eyelashes.

Catherine gulped. She was not prepared for Jack.

As Catherine stepped outside and Jack came closer, she could see the cold glint in his eye.

Jack gazed with the affection of 4119 cowardly faithful flamingos. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want some more Twitter followers."

Catherine looked back, even more ambivalent and still fingering the tiny blade. "Jack, beam me up Scotty," she replied.

They looked at each other with surprised feelings, like two gentle, grated gerbils singing at a very friendly bar mitzvah, which had piano music playing in the background and two rude uncles loving to the beat.

Catherine regarded Jack's pretty arms and brunette eyelashes. "I feel the same way!" revealed Catherine with a delighted grin.

Jack looked afraid, his emotions blushing like a thoughtless, tart teapot.

Then Jack came inside for a nice glass of port.

Hope you enjoyed this very odd story! I will be posting a lot of these probably!