My friend is an artist with a sensitive and special character. She can't stand everyone. So, when she had a surgery, she asked me to stay with her. She chose me because I'm not talkative and I don't care if people talk to me or do their own stuff. So, she chose me because my presence doesn't matter.

I stayed with her, went to the hospital with her, cooked for her and cleaned up her house. She was a little obsessed with her sheets, dishes and furniture. So, I had to spend more time than usual for cleaning. She also would sleep really early. This wasn't a problem but a healthy routine, but it was a waste of time for me because those hours are when I relax, learn a language or watch or read something in my target languages.

So, I stayed there for almost three weeks. The day she removed her stitches, her smiles and positive face turned into an angry and sad face.

She bought me a thank-you gift and we went back home. Then, the next day we went shopping and I carried her stuff, but my friend or student called me and asked me to take a test on behalf of her son, but I got mad and told about it to my friend/host. She told me to stop talking about her. Then we went to a restaurant and on the way home, my niece called me. My host friend used to interrupt my phone calls although her intention was just being friendly. So, she told me look at the moon. I didn't reply because I was talking to my niece. Then, my friend gathered some branches and didn't talk to me at all.

Then, when we were at home, she started doing the chores angrily. Then, she suddenly asked me to leave her house, but she said, "Not tonight. Vacuum the house because I can't clean up your hair." Then, she turned off the lamps and I was so sad and heartbroken that I couldn't sleep that night. Then, she woke up three times at night and told me that you don't let me sleep. Then, because I was afraid of breathing, I slept in another bedroom.

She asked me what bed I've slept on and I said I've slept on the floor. Then, she stopped talking and prepared my breakfast that day and told me that I should be present all the time.

After drinking coffee, she got me an Uber and sent me home, but I lost all the respect that I had for her. When I came back, I sent her the money from the hospital back and she blocked me.

It's been a long time since then, but I can't stop thinking about it. Was I really that bad or was she ungrateful?

I've journaled about this many times a day, every day, but I might not be aware of some of my bad behaviors or her personality traits.

People always confuse me. I don't know if I should be kind and nice or rude just like them? Do they take advantage of me or do I let them do this? Am I playing the victim?

I can write about my thoughts for hours, but let's give it a rest. 😉