Recently, my brother and I moved in with my dad, who´s been divorced from my mum for 10 years. He put lots of effort into building a house from scratch, as we had left all our belongings at my mum's. I wanted to help as much as I could, so I started taking care of the housework, as he took care of us. 'It´s the least I could do for him, for all he gave us.' I thought back then.

However, one year after moving in and building a routine, the housework still relied on me. I did the laundry, deep-cleaned the bathroom, the kitchen, the floors, the bedroom, and the front of the house, I cooked most of the time, fed our pets took care of them, etc. I did what was needed in every home but all by myself. At that point, I became tired. Then sad and angry, why was nobody helping me, or even showing gratitude?

It was when I read 'Childhood' by Melissa Febos that I took my experience as a serious concern, something that slipped out of my hands, even when I thought I was pretty aware of gender roles and those sorts of things. I was not. I understood that having heard and agreed with an idea wasn't enough; more needed to be done if I didn't want to fall into those old-fashioned patterns.

One day, attempting to make a difference, I asked—or begged—my brother to do his part, and he said, 'No, I don't want to.' That certainly surprised me, I hoped that for one time, if I asked him politely, he would agree. But he didn't. At this point, it seemed that asking them to help, or later opposing myself to do it, wasn't enough.

Now, sometimes they do their part, but in a way that they think they are doing extra work. I don't know how to make this change, should I just stop doing everything? I would hate to live in a mess of a house. Also, this thought of being perceived as dirty and ungrateful just overcomes me when I think about ignoring the laundry, or not sweeping the floors. It's like my dad is observing me and judging my every step because he subconsciously thinks I have to do those things. And, naturally, that weighs on me. Again, 'it's the least I can do, It's just cleaning.'

I don't know how to stop these dynamics, but I wanted to put them into words. Thank you for reading.

And a little quote that reminded me of this: 'Pensar en todas las cosas que una mujer podria hacer en vez de limpiar. O mejor dicho: todos los pasatiempos que la volverian una p/t|. Leer, hablar, escuchar, pensar, comer, mirar al cielo, al suelo, a otra gente, o a sí misma, sacarse una cascarita, fumar, pintar, construir, soñar despierta, dormir, tramar, conspirar, reír, comunicarse con los animales, conversar con Dios, creerse una diosa, imaginar un futuro donde su tiempo le pertenece.'