Two years of living alone have flown by lightning fast. Although many times, I felt like I'd fallen into the sea and I remembered that I didn't know how to swim, today, I feel like a strong cliff in the middle of the same gigantic sea because that's how life is; it's sometimes windy, other times calm, and sometimes lets me know about stormy days that are coming, but it's always big. The size of the sea hasn't changed, but I've become a harder cliff.

Have you ever noticed a change against the sea of life?

I'm grateful for this point that I've chosen. I'm glad that I chose this cliff to stay on. I enjoy living independently, cleaning the house on my own, dealing with daily life, and facing the crises and trying to solve them.

Time is a strange concept. We believe that time flies, but the events that we anticipate find their place in time slowly, and we, impatient humans, are always in a hurry to get to the peaceful point.

Have you ever noticed the pace of time passing by in your life?

Oriana Fallaci in the book 'If the Sun Died" wrote "A human changes slowly, the same way spring turns into summer, summer turns into fall, and fall turns into winter. Nobody ever knows at what moment spring turns into summer. One morning, we wake up and notice that it's hot. Summer arrived while we were asleep.

I remember the day my new season arrived. I woke up and noticed that my heart had gotten lighter. A new type of lightness that I'd been waiting for. I'd thought many times in the past two years that this sad and heavy heart wouldn't ever get light again. The shadow of a lasting tragedy and sorrow always seem bigger than they were. I just said that I never thought my heart would become lighter, but it had. They always say, "time heals all wounds."

Where are you standing right now? Are you standing where you have a heavy heart, or where you've felt the arrival of the new season?

Remind yourself that life is beautiful, ephemeral and mesmerizing like a leaf. Remind yourself why you've made a decision? Remind yourself of what you want and what you don't want. Remind yourself that life is short and you're the one who gives meaning to it. Remind yourself that you need to lose something in order to give it that meaning. You need to suffer and you also need to be happy, even if you don't know how. You need to learn to be rebellious sometimes to mess up the world around you and not break down in your comfort zone when it's already messed up.

Julia Kritsteva wrote in the book "Against the National Depression" that happiness only costs rebellion. Rebellion is the only necessary component of the life of mind. Being rebellious is nothing but an infinite stream of questioning that helps the spiritual/psychological life to survive.

I'm filling up my surroundings with nice memories. Memories have distracted me. Today is cloudy. After work, it's time to read and watch the street. In the comfort of my home, I'm reading the story of a murder. Sometimes, I look out the window and watch the sky and my heart gets warm/calm. Sometimes, I get lost in the world of the book and my heart beats faster. I think this is what life is; experiencing different types of heartbeats.