Have you ever heard of the concept of "a la foo" (アラフォー)?
This is a Japanese expression that I hear much more than I would care to these days.
It means "close to 40 years old". In my native language, French, we have the concept of "la quarantaine", which is similar to the English "being in your 40's" to talk about people who have already reached 40 years old.
But the Japanese "アラフォー" is used to talk about people who are between 36 to 39 years old.
In Japan, it is common thinking that "younger is better" in any situation. And I feel that people have more complexes about aging here than in any western countries.
I was a little amused when I first learnt that word.
I am less amused now that I am going on my 40th birthday.
Because everyone in Japan seems to change behaviour towards you when they learn that you are "アラフォー". For example, younger male coworkers will chat less with me now or use more formal language than before. Younger female friends will talk less about romantic relationships at lunch break with me than before. They even talk less about fashion with me than before.
I feel a little sad about this. It feels like you are not allowed to be interested in fashion or love after you go over 35.
I even heard colleagues of my age saying that they "cannot" wear shirts with bright colours like light blue because we are now "a la foo". A friend also explained to me that we cannot wear a fringe anymore since it makes asian faces look younger. If we do that, people will assume that we are trying to hide the fact that we are now in the group of "a la foo".
I find this very interesting.
Do you have any similar concepts in your culture or language?
This is such an interesting concept! I've never heard about something like that before. In Russia we are always respectful to older people (7 year gap is enough to use formal language). But I've never noticed that there is any drastic difference in behaviour before or after a certain age. It all depends on a situation and relationships people are in. Of course, like in any country, we have stigma surroundig each decade (like "you have to have a family by 35" or "it is shamful to be interested in cartoons in your 20's"), but overall you will always find people to talk to about everything no matter how old you are.
I find this is a little bit different in Israel. There is no formal language in Hebrew. This lack of politeness in a language itself brings people closer. The freedom of expression is also valued a lot. You can do whatever you want regardless of the age.
Do you think that a language influences culture or vice versa?
That is almost bizarre that something like that is so well rooted in a society. Do you think that they avoid talking to you about the more casual aspects of life out of respect, assuming that a person "of your age" will not be interested in such things? or do you think it is more that they don't feel that you can contribute to discussions about love and style?
The only equivalent I can think of is workplace hierarchy. People usually feel uncomfortable to speak to their superiors about mundane subjects and sometimes think that there is no chance that an older "and more serious" person would be interested in "younger themes".
I liked reading this. Quite interesting.