![[short writing task] about Marriage](https://d2ieewwzq5w1x7.cloudfront.net/post-image/f24ad1f4-c934-4e5b-b183-19358856e2ce-large)
I was writing this as an answer to friends who were asking how attitudes towrds Marriage are in our respective countries.
The crowd was very international and 30% of them were asians.
We were all kind of explaining what it meant to us or what we observed around us about marriage.
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I think marriage is okay but certainly not an obligation nor should it be.
I know that many countries still hold the tradition of marriage very dearly: a lot of my old students (mainly Nepalese and Vietnamese people) often told me how life cannot possibly go on if you do not get married and have a lot of children to build a family of your own.
I think that it makes sense to get married for practical reasons, such as taxes or a visa/permanent residence permit. But it is just a contract, a piece of paper.
That said, I as a girrrrrrrrl (;D), do have this idealistic image of a couple bound by love and who would spend the rest of their lives together. I think the concept or romantic love can work, as can partnership work too.
I just don't think that real feelings necessarily need to be contracted.
Nor do I think that promises of love should be considered more serious because they are enforced by laws.
But I guess this way of thinking is very "modern western-like".
We think of marriage and couplehood as being two different things that can be paired up in some cases, or not in others.
In my jaded, pessimistic mind, I actually think that real Trust resides precisely in believing in each other's feelings and intentions, without having money or laws ensuring you that your partner is going to stick around or behave.
I could add that I do think that attitudes towards marriage have been changing over the past 40 years throughout the world, but wedding catering is a business that still has a long and international future in front of it!
Interesting observations Kareen. It would be interesting to see how the institution of marriage develops in the future, given that it's no longer a social/financial necessity. The issue of having and raising kids would become the main concern of marriage, I would guess... Your English is nearly perfect in this post, by the way.
I've been reading a book at the moment called "Marriage is easy, just don't get divorced: And other wedding toasts I'll never give" by Ada Calhoun. It is mostly about the practicality of marriage. My personal experience has been that most marriages where I'm from (the United States) are a contract because of feelings, but any marriage that lasts has to be about more than feelings. Feelings come and go, no one will love another person every day, month, or year. I have children and I care about them and want the best for them, but I don't 'feel' loving toward them all the time. But I have a parental obligation to do what's in their best interests even when I don't feel loving. I think that marriage is a commitment to do what is best for your partner even when you don't 'feel' like it. Sadly, we're human so this often works best when it's legally binding.
Really well written! And I pretty much agree with your position :)
@maxmo : Thank you very much for your help and comment. This is very encouraging :) Yes, I think rasing kids can be a factor of deciding for getting married in many countries. I currently live in Japan, and I think many a marriage are actually gone through with because the woman got pregnant.
In my country though, (I am French) I think people are very divided on this. Some definitely value traditions and the conventional family system, while others totally do not worry about it. I was from a stereotypical family and I remember how surprised I was when some of my friends told me their parents were totally in love, but not married. On top of that, in some cases the parents were even not living together. They were still "dating" each other as boyfriends and girlfriends, and my friends were sleeping with one or the other depending on the day, or their schedules... :)
They all seemed very happy and well balanced families though, if it makes sense.
@SimpleSam It is very true what you said. Partnership and happy marriages are often about more than just love feelings. I shall reflect on this point some more. I have a feeling that it could help me with my relationship too... ;)
@emily_m_c Thank you very much for all your help and comment! Having a native correcting my English or giving me suggestions on phrasing is a luxury I almost never had in my adult life. I find it enlightning and encouraging. Thank you again! I love this platform :)