I was very young when I was born, so I didn’t have to watch my weight back then. Now, I’ve decided that my new workout routine is just to run ... away from responsibilities. It burns a lot of calories, too. I also toyed with cutting back on coffee and drinking more water. But then I thought, "Water doesn’t give you the same 'I’m coming-I’m coming' buzz that a nice shot of coffee does."

I thought getting houseplants would make me more responsible/accountable, so I bought three. Two are dead, and one is on life support. But it's not all my fault; the weather has been so cold that I’ve been looking at beach pictures all day to warm up.

Working from home is at fault/to blame for all of this. I’m starting to think my bed is my office, and every Zoom meeting feels like a kidnapping situation, like a twenty-first-century version of Misery by Stephen King, where I’m Steve McQueen, of course. Anyway, I’m overthinking, and I miss commuting so much. I think I’m going to move my office into the living room.