It has been a long time since the last time i publised something here and i am sure that my writing is not good, i have not written anything in english in almost 6 months. I hope i have not forgotten everything.

A lot happened during this months. The last year was really hard, mostly the last months, i feel that everything happened so fast but at the same time slowly. My mental health decreased like it never did, i never felt in that way before and sometimes i feel that i can not find words to explain it. At first i questioned my degree and what i was doing with my life, nothing was right, this feeling of being empty was continuously growing inside me. it was out of control. nothing mattered, after some days it was not about my degree anymore, it was about not knowing who i am, what i want, not having dreams or passions, a constant feeling of being lost.

At the end i finished my semester and almost with my life too, (maybe that is not correct grammatically), i did not wanted to live anymore. it was a weird feeling, everything was useless. If someone is reading this maybe can read it and think that i am telling too much but i do not care, maybe this can help someone, maybe this can reach the right person, someone who needs it or someone that has gone trough something similar, i don't know, the possibilities can be endless.

Thankfully i received professional help, i was at my limit and choosing if i wanted the help or not was not an option. i went to therapy after some weeks at the hospital. the therapy was really helpful and an incredible experience, but i am not going to lie, of course it was not easy all the time, adressing all the issues that you have to treat is overwhelming sometimes but necessary. I met people with different life stories and also i slowly started to feel alive again.

I am not perfect now but definitely i am better than before, i am still trying to get better, is not a linear process and learning that is a lot but i like to think that i just have to trust the process. It turns out that i needed to be diagnosed to receive the appropriate treatment and i was lucky enough to get support from my mom during all the process.

I hope that everyone who is at a bad moment of their lives can get better and receive the support that they deserve. mostly if they are struggling with their health, physically or mentally. Life can get better, it is not perfect but it gets better.