My life continues being boring at the moment. I wasn't call to volunteer for the Eurovision; I had to expect it. Tomorrow it will be my last day of work. And everything goes on as always.
This week I met a new guy at the university: I've been cheeky and asked him to pass me his notes of last lessons, since I wasn't able to follow them because I was at work. He was very kind and sent them to me without blinking an eye. I asked him also the notes for next lesson and without hesitation he said he will do it. I was amazed by his kindness, so I decided to sit next to him during the lesson and to get to know him. We just chatted a little about university and how the exams were going, that's it. I just hope to be able to see him again this Thursday, I'm not a fan of solitude and after the pandemic I wasn't able to make friends at the university. I don't even know his name, I didn't ask.
This weekend I did some gardening, it was my very first time doing it and I liked it so much that now I would like to buy another plant. I just re-pot two fat plants, nothing so special, but it was fun handle the topsoil. Probably next week I'll discover if I did a good job or not.
This weekend I also met some friends and it was nice. We just had a tea break at their place and I eat their chocolate cake: it was delicious. Then we went out for a walk in a park nearby and we chatted a little. It has been a really relaxing and nice afternoon, but still at a certain point my mind just zoomed out and suddenly I felt like a spectator of my own life. It's difficult to describe the sensation I felt at that moment, and the problem is not for the language I'm using, I would struggle also in my mother tongue.
I'll try to explain it as simple as I can: I felt like I was living so much in the present moment that it felt like I was playing a part, a role of some kind, and suddenly I felt an urge to escape from all that and go back home. But in the end I had fun with them and the time passed by quickly, so I was confused by my own sensations.
Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was social anxiety, or maybe it's something else. Who knows?
The dark days we've been having have sapped my energy, but I potted up some seedlings today and felt revived too :-)