Yesterday I talked with Jay. It's a third time to talk with him. Still I felt nervous, because nowadays I have felt frustrated a little bit about speaking in English.

The conversation was started about the topic which I choosed. I asked him that did he has any specific goals in his career. He said that he want to be a head chef but doen't have any specific goals especially in long-term, because a situation where we belong is always changed, so we can't predict what will be happened.

Instead of controlling the situation, we need to appriciate what we have right now and enjoy the small things such as go for a walk with wife. I totally agreed with his opinions. Then I explained my goal about learning English and writing, my methods to achieve my goal. I think balancing both of control the situation and relexing/enjoying time is most difficuty task to me, but I couldn't expain that much.

Sometimes we were laugh out loud during the conversation, but I felt frustrated again, because the gap of my ideal and my actual practice was too deep. I felt this kind of feeling when I was learning guitar. In my mind, I were Jimmy Handrix, but my finger didn't follow.

How I bridge the gap between the two, I need time to thing of it.