I'm studying for the TOEFL exam to apply to a Canadian university, so I'm going to write an practice essay.

I guess making corrections of the essay would be such a hard work, but I hope you will help me.

Disclaimer: This is a practice essay for the English proficiency test, so it does not necessarily reflect my true opinion. I may choose the stance where I find easier to write or what I want to practice.

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

"Television advertising directed toward young children(aged two to five) should not be allowed."

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Answer:

I agree with the statement. Some might say that such kind of advertisement has no reason to be restricted because it is our liberty to commerce freely or that it can stimulate the economy, but I think television advertisement directed for kids should be prohibited. I have three reasons.

Firstly, children have not developed proper intellectual ability to discern what they should do and what they shouldn’t, and to lure them using television advertisement is immoral. A lot of countries prohibit having sexual relationship with someone who are below certain age because children cannot have fair relationships with adults. To have such a relation is considered as child abuse, and advertisement toward children exploits them as well because they do not have self-restraint or proper knowledge to buy products.

Secondly, early stage of the children is so critical for their life, so they are ought to be brought up in a educational circumstance. They start to develop curiosity about all kinds of things around them, such as animals, plants, stories, and so on. How they taught in this important stage of life can affect what they like, what they want to do, or even what they are. TV advertisement may make a devastating change for their future. Children may indulge in a toy and might not develop curiosities enough to be interested in study in the school. Certainly, children can develop their curiosity because of advertisement, but advertisement is made for the profit of a company. It is rare of the products made for money to have some properties that can propel children’s life for a better way.

Thirdly, children are not the one who buy the product. They cannot buy anything without any help. In other words, evoking children’s desire end up burden their parental guardians. Parents are working so hard to bring home the bacon and bring up their children. Adding to their burden to make profit is not morally good and should not be allowed.

Thank you for reading. To make correction must be such a hassle. I really appreciate it.

See you!